Its been so long since I really updated, the last entry was pretty pointless cuz I didnt go into any details. I havent had anytime to write in this blog like I want to. Im actually suppose to be typin a paper.. but im very distracted. This is probably gonna be one of the mosts heartfelt, truthful, open posts ive ever written (besides one other one i wrote before) so if you read it, lucky you cuz i dont really express my emotions for everyone to see.
Its amazing how someone can just come in your life unexpectadly and make you feel so good. The last time i remember being fully happy in a relationship was... uh.. LOL. Its been a minute. Yeah Im not gonna lie i have had a couple of good times with my ex's but there was never a time where I was overall happy with them. I dont know how he did it because I was so vulnerable, crazy, confused, nonchalant, and every negative thing you can think of when he tried to pursue me. Got out of a fucked up relationship, got into a fucked up situation with a guy I talked to.. and his friend ends up tryna talk to me? Tryna get a piece of me too? I thought so. But it wasnt even like that.
Man I really wasnt tryna have it at all. Mind you I remember seeing his facebook a couple of times and thinking OMG hes cute as shit! I even mentioned it to two of my friends who went to middle school with him. Cute as I thought he was i was so done with men. I had the worse luck TWICE, i wasnt tryna have it a third time.. on top of that he was friends with the last guy i talked to.. oh hellllllll no. I remember i told him so many times if he wanted me itd be hard cuz I had all my walls up and probably wasnt gonna bring them down anytime soon. He kept it consisten, never gave up, and reassured me he wouldnt hurt me (and of course i was like uh huh yeah right) He told me he had a crush on me, it was cute I thought but I still wasnt too sure enough that I liked him, I was so guarded. We talked for 3 months.. the last time i remember actually talkin to someone for that long before being official was with my first real relationship.. that had to mean something. Ill admit it though I was impatient.
This guy.. you wouldnt understand how he makes me feel. I fell in love once before and i never thought i could REALLY feel the same way again.. being the bitter person I was. I could write stories about the stuff he says to me. Its nothing like no other guy can say. When I hear it i know its genuine. Almost everyday he tells me im beautiful. He expresses himself to me and I love that. He does it in public. Hes in love with me. Hes PERFECT.
though we're miles way going to colleges in diff states, we're stayin solid. I know hes not doing anythin hes not suppose to be doing cuz I trust him and he shows no interests in even talkin to any females. And plus if he fucks up, ill know. cuz i know ppl there. but anyways. yeah theres times way in the back of my mind where i think one day it might all change, but thats just cuz im a pessimist. Yeah im kinda scared but you gotta take risks. We visit each other and come home together spend time with one another as much as we can. Hes my everything and idk what id do without him. Dont get me wrong, we have out problems.. oh yeah we do.. esp since its long distance but everytime i get mad... i eventually find myself thinking to myself .. man i cant stay mad at him, I love him too much to let a petty fight get the best of me.
I fall harder everyday.
and Im content with him.
Guys I see at my college?
Not even interested
I got something SPECIAL.
Im such a lucky ass girl FOR REAL.
I wouldnt trade him for anything.
<3
