i have the best freakin boyfriend in the world!!!
Amerie featured in Honey Mag
She kills it on the shoot & interview.
On relationships:"Something that my Dad always told me a long time ago…. a guy is always going to show you his cards. Whether you choose to look at those cards for what they are or whether you just choose to act like you don’t’ see them, a man will always show you his cards. So don’t act surprised later when something happens, because you saw it already in the beginning and you chose not to heed that. And that is really true. So how did that change me? I didn’t hang around and try and figure a guy out a million different ways, like maybe this or maybe he was sick or maybe he just whatever. It’s like, it is what it is. We’ve got to start wasting time and energy on a situation when there’s nothing to figure out. And we tend to do that all the time. We’re so good at that."
I didnt fall for him.
Him.
Who is he?
The guy i fell for..
suddenly vanished. leaving me. with a replacement.
of someone who seems to be the same but is a test of real eyes.
what a fool, a fool caught in between loves wrath of a blindsight
i didnt fall for him .
thats not the one who gave me reassurance that all i wanted and all i needed was right here.
security. guidance. comfort.
with open arms, bringing away fear.
never expected. because the other would never..
say i bring nothing but a burden to his life
scolds and attitudes of a fed up being
who believes priorities should be twisted after time has finally kicked in for long length
I know..
I shouldnt.
Im trying.
because Im a woman.
and my feelings should be tended for. my words be acknowledged.
but how many times til i finally realize.
i didnt fall for him.
Who is he?
The guy i fell for..
suddenly vanished. leaving me. with a replacement.
of someone who seems to be the same but is a test of real eyes.
what a fool, a fool caught in between loves wrath of a blindsight
i didnt fall for him .
thats not the one who gave me reassurance that all i wanted and all i needed was right here.
security. guidance. comfort.
with open arms, bringing away fear.
never expected. because the other would never..
say i bring nothing but a burden to his life
scolds and attitudes of a fed up being
who believes priorities should be twisted after time has finally kicked in for long length
I know..
I shouldnt.
Im trying.
because Im a woman.
and my feelings should be tended for. my words be acknowledged.
but how many times til i finally realize.
i didnt fall for him.
How pleasant...
This would be the RIGHT week for me to STILL be really sick when Maalik is coming to visit me. My throat is clogged, my voice is almost gone, and i have cough thats so bad...
Idk what happened. Been taking mad dayquil, nyquil, and tylenol.. nothing. Its always ME who has something wrong. Its always me who gets hurt. im so fuckin tired of it. why cant i just be healthy and accident free of everything.
Called my dad to tell him i wanted to go home crying.. i was in so much pain, i felt no good not at all .. he tried to calm me down. He told me to go to the hospital.. but how could I? I dont have no money to buy any prescription drugs the doctor gives me.. I dont have any transportation to the hospital.. its a fuckin walk. Its cold. I have classes. I have to pick up maalik.
I feel so damn burdened. I feel hopeless. Im so sick. This is the SECOND time itll be since I been to the hospital here in NY... what a great college experience huh?
Couldnt go to sleep til 5 am last night cuz w.e was in my throat kept me from fallin asleep.. hopefully that wont happen tonight.. i wont count on it.
I wanna tough it out and not go to the doctor n take medicine.. but the medicines not helping..
My dad says if i dont go.. hes gonna come pick up and take me to the doctors at home...
but i already payed for maalik's ticket.. and hes already coming
wtf do i do.
i cant skip class to go to the doctors.. ive missed too many.
the school nurse wont do shit for me. she'll just tell me to go the doctors.
i fucking love this!
You make me better ...
Its been so long since I really updated, the last entry was pretty pointless cuz I didnt go into any details. I havent had anytime to write in this blog like I want to. Im actually suppose to be typin a paper.. but im very distracted. This is probably gonna be one of the mosts heartfelt, truthful, open posts ive ever written (besides one other one i wrote before) so if you read it, lucky you cuz i dont really express my emotions for everyone to see.
Its amazing how someone can just come in your life unexpectadly and make you feel so good. The last time i remember being fully happy in a relationship was... uh.. LOL. Its been a minute. Yeah Im not gonna lie i have had a couple of good times with my ex's but there was never a time where I was overall happy with them. I dont know how he did it because I was so vulnerable, crazy, confused, nonchalant, and every negative thing you can think of when he tried to pursue me. Got out of a fucked up relationship, got into a fucked up situation with a guy I talked to.. and his friend ends up tryna talk to me? Tryna get a piece of me too? I thought so. But it wasnt even like that.
Man I really wasnt tryna have it at all. Mind you I remember seeing his facebook a couple of times and thinking OMG hes cute as shit! I even mentioned it to two of my friends who went to middle school with him. Cute as I thought he was i was so done with men. I had the worse luck TWICE, i wasnt tryna have it a third time.. on top of that he was friends with the last guy i talked to.. oh hellllllll no. I remember i told him so many times if he wanted me itd be hard cuz I had all my walls up and probably wasnt gonna bring them down anytime soon. He kept it consisten, never gave up, and reassured me he wouldnt hurt me (and of course i was like uh huh yeah right) He told me he had a crush on me, it was cute I thought but I still wasnt too sure enough that I liked him, I was so guarded. We talked for 3 months.. the last time i remember actually talkin to someone for that long before being official was with my first real relationship.. that had to mean something. Ill admit it though I was impatient.
This guy.. you wouldnt understand how he makes me feel. I fell in love once before and i never thought i could REALLY feel the same way again.. being the bitter person I was. I could write stories about the stuff he says to me. Its nothing like no other guy can say. When I hear it i know its genuine. Almost everyday he tells me im beautiful. He expresses himself to me and I love that. He does it in public. Hes in love with me. Hes PERFECT.
though we're miles way going to colleges in diff states, we're stayin solid. I know hes not doing anythin hes not suppose to be doing cuz I trust him and he shows no interests in even talkin to any females. And plus if he fucks up, ill know. cuz i know ppl there. but anyways. yeah theres times way in the back of my mind where i think one day it might all change, but thats just cuz im a pessimist. Yeah im kinda scared but you gotta take risks. We visit each other and come home together spend time with one another as much as we can. Hes my everything and idk what id do without him. Dont get me wrong, we have out problems.. oh yeah we do.. esp since its long distance but everytime i get mad... i eventually find myself thinking to myself .. man i cant stay mad at him, I love him too much to let a petty fight get the best of me.
I fall harder everyday.
and Im content with him.
Guys I see at my college?
Not even interested
I got something SPECIAL.
Im such a lucky ass girl FOR REAL.
I wouldnt trade him for anything.
<3
I know you missed me!
I been slacking mad hard on here, actually I been M.I.A. Just been busy with school & socializing with friends, & being with my Maalik... thats the city life, mad busy.Um so I guess Ill update, got a new haircut.. peep the header picture. I love my new P.A.R.E family! I been partying everyweekend, going out almost everyday, exploring New York. I dropped $700 in like 3 days. EEK! Well one thing's for sure, my fashion sense has upgraded being here & I think I dress better. I might post some pics up!
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